Thursday, September 23, 2010

Loneliness of Spiritual Widows

How does one fully explain the loneliness that is felt by a Spiritual Widow?

Let me start by saying that it is not your standard form of loneliness. Most Spiritual Widows I have spoken to say it is difficult to discuss their feelings with those in the body of Christ, because those with "perfect" homes have no possible way of understanding the depth of their loneliness.

Many do not understand that the Spiritual Widow, whether the spouse is in the home or not, feel like they have been deserted. Not only are they missing out on the companionship once offered up freely by their spouse, but they also miss the companionship and fellowship that used to take place when she and her spouse were both active in the church. A Spiritual Widow will start to feel left out of "couples" programs because she is truly no longer a part of a couple due to the emotional and spiritual desertion, and sometimes physical desertion by the spouse.

Upon a husband withdrawing himself, the Spiritual Widow is instantly scrutinized and gossiping takes place. People will speculate as to why the head of the household is not coming to church. They will assume it is drugs, alcohol or even another woman (Jezebel) interfering with the relationship. Most will not reach out to the spiritual widow because they don't  want to deal with her pain, or the children's pain. Many do not want to look pain in the face and help them through the crisis or be a support system for those obviously in need.

It is often considered acceptable practice for a woman of the world to "move on" quickly if her "man" becomes physically, mentally or emotionally detached from her. Women and young girls are taught in society that "If he isn't doing right by you, than girl, you gotta do right by yourself." 

Women of  Christian faith, having virtue and honor, are not able to have this "freedom" as they know what God's word says and often find themselves on a very lonely journey down a road filled with many potholes,dark alleys, deep crevices and valley's so far into the darkness that she is not sure she will ever find her way back into the light.

Next time you hear of a Spiritual widow or know of one, I urge you to look into your heart and ask God what he wants you to do. You may be the only bit of hope she has left for feeling like she is not an outcast and ostracized from the body of Christ. WWJD?

Love in Christ always,
Akuas Keiki

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