Sunday, September 26, 2010

Situations that create a Spiritual Widow

Since I am a woman, I am typing things from a woman's perspective but want the men out there who deal with this to know I am here for you and recognize your hurts. I also recognize that some men may be Spiritual Widows. For men, it is often much more difficult to be a Spiritual Widow because they are supposed to be the Spiritual Leaders in the home, so it is automatically assumed that they did not fulfill their role.


There are so many different and complex situations that may cause a woman of faith to become a Spiritual Widow, that it would be rather exhausting to list them all. For that reason, I am going to list the ones that I know of personally or have heard about most commonly.




  • A spouse that is co-dependent on his wife that he often acts like a child, having to be told to do things he should already know how to do, but must be reminding on a regular basis in order for them to be accomplished in a timely manner. Often times, these are things that the wife cannot do for the husband as these are things only the husband can do (calling and enrolling the family in benefits through his employer, making his own medical appointments, etc)
  • A spouse who has habitual sin (drugs, alcohol or sexual addictions) and does not seek help for the sin bringing about shame upon the family.
  • A spouse who is physically, mentally, verbally, or emotionally abusive therefore rendering themselves as Spiritual Abusers
  • A spouse who may have lost their fath, no longer reads their bible, does not attend church, speaks and acts in mannerisms that are in conflict with the faith they claim to have, and treats his family differently in public than they do behind closed doors
  • A single woman who has had a spouse or partner to leave her the full and total responsibility of raising any children they may have together, whether it is biological or through marriage
  • A single woman who has had to leave an abusive relationship and now finds herself doing all she can to raise her children up right with no true support structure due to being ostracized within the church.
There is a multitude of other situations that create Spiritual Widows for men and women alike.

While writing this, God spoke into my spirit as to some situations that men may deal with that I would like to share:

  • Men may experience being a Spiritual Widow by being married to a woman who has a sexual addiction due to unresolved childhood sexual abuse issues, thereby committing adultery on a consistent basis
  • Men who may be married to someone who was previously abused and and the women don't want to repeat that situation in their lives, and have difficulty coming under biblical submission to their husband as to the Lord
  • Men may be a Spiritual Widow by a wife that has left them to live an alternative lifestyle because she has been subjected to psychotropic drugs and counselors/therapists who convinced them it was ok to try it out to see if they like it.
  • While there may be more situations for men, these are the ones I know about and heard of. If any of you men would like me to post and share other experiences that have left you feeling like a Spiritual Widow as a man in the body of Christ, please email me and make the subject line Male Spiritual Widows
God bless each and every one of you for taking the time to read this. I have given this over to God and promised to be completely open and honest. I am willing to share my hurts that anyone who may be touched by this might be helped in knowing they are not alone.  

You are in my prayers.

Love in Christ always,
Akuas Keiki

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